The GEM Debate: Infidelity And The Marital Bed
Ooh it’s time for another GEM debate and this one’s sure to get you all talking!
After I dropped the kids off at school this morning, I came back to find one of those segments on morning TV that really makes you stop and think.
The segment on the Today Show was all about infidelity – but this wasn’t just your run of the mill cheating. As part of an article in the New York Times called Don’t Try This at Home: Adultery in the Marital Bed, the Times conducted an informal survey on cheating and found that half of the respondents said there was NO WAY their marriage would survive if their spouse had cheated on them in their bed. Clearly there’s just something about the marital bed that is especially sacred.
Following the taped piece, Meredith interviewed a psychologist about the added layer of pain that comes when a spouse cheats in The Marriage Bed. Here’s what he had to say…
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So the GEM debate today is:
Could you ever forgive your spouse for having sex with someone else in your bed?
Has it ever happened to you? Or have you been the guilty party…
Sound off!
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Who does that? I mean, obviously people have, but cheating is bad enough… what kind of person cheats in the same bed they sleep with their spouse in?
If I cheated and got caught, there’s a 90% chance my wife will leave me.
If I cheated and got caught in our bed, there’s a 90% chance that my body would never be found. -
my immediate reaction would be to say “aw hell to tha’ no Bobby B” and take my kids and leave – but coming from a “broken” family and now having children, i’m pretty sure i would do everything i could to work things out before calling it quits – having divorced parents SUCKS!!
as far as cheating in our bed – well at the very least we’d be needing a new bed – and there’s a possibility we’d need a new house! -
Ok. Now I have to offer my somewhat different opinion. Hoonestly, I really believe we do not know how we would react in a situation until we are actually faced with that situation. It has happened to me and we stayed married 12 years after that. He is my ex now but not because of infedelity in our bed. We just were not right for each other. I think the reason people cheat is because some aspect of their marriage is not what it should be. Women and men listen to your spouse. If there is something they are saying they need from you please please pay attention because I can say for certain that when they get tired of asking you for it they will find someone else that will. Whether it be sex, time, more affection, a clean house or whatever the case may be…pay attention to the things they consistantly request or ask for
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One part of me wants to say, “what difference does it make where they cheated, for Christ sake!”
But then, here I am 6 years after my divorce and I still have not invited a single person to sleep, or otherwise, in the bed I shared with my wife, where both our kids were conceived.
Yeah, I got issues.
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Absolutely not! I just can’t see someone being able to explain away cheating on me in my own bed. Not only disrespectful, but also vindictive.